Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries 
Singleness is a loaded word. It evokes a reaction and carries connotations that stir up feelings we may not be comfortable discussing. For some, singleness is independence and liberty. For others, loneliness, and isolation.
In 2019, I conducted surveys and interviews to ascertain the thoughts of single and single-again women on the topic of singleness. As one of the most neglected populations in our churches, yet statistically over half the population in the U.S., I knew this was a necessary conversation.
Late 2021, One Single Reason: Conversations with Single Women was released. It ensures that we seat God at the head of the table and most attentively listen to His voice. My voice is represented through various stories and illustrations. Other women’s voices are shared through their own experiences and perspectives. Finally, we invite your voice into the conversation. Pull up a chair!
We are invited to share in the opportunity to learn from one another and from Scripture. The number of single and single-again characters in the Bible is astounding. Some of the most famous people whose stories are narrated in the Scriptures were single, starting with Jesus.Then we have Paul, Mary, and Martha amongst His most devoted disciples. Miriam was single, Hagar was a single mom, and Anna was a widow who dedicated years serving in the temple, awaiting the Messiah.
One of the ways we can celebrate singleness is to highlight that facet of these integral individuals in God’s Bible story. Singleness is not the sum of who we are, but neither it is a characteristic or dynamic that can be ignored.
Integrating our unique qualities, God amazingly weaves all our stories into the tapestry of His design and wills us to walk with Him through all stages and ages of our lives. The Body cannot function without all its members (1 Cor. 12); therefore, our single members are also vital to the Kingdom.
One Sunday morning, shortly after the book’s release, a shepherd at my current congregation asked how long it took me to write One Single Reason. Before I could formulate my answer, he interrupted me. “I bet this one took a lifetime.” Amazed at how deeply that elder saw me and my work, I slowly nodded, “Yes, it did.”
Throughout my life, I have heard hundreds, maybe thousands of cries from single women that their stories be heard, and their lives be valued. We are more than our marital status, but singleness brings distinct challenges that can only be understood by someone who has lived through it.
The median age for women to get married has increased to 28 from an average of 20.3 in the 1950s. Most young singles do not have someone in their lives who has lived through the same experiences she has, beginning a career instead of starting a family. One course of action is not right while the other is wrong, they are simply different.
And our differences can feel threatening. We fear what we don’t know or understand. When we openly share our hearts, our struggles, and our experiences, we demystify the unfamiliar. Yes, there is a vulnerability in that level of openness, but we were designed to be in deep and meaningful relationships. Our sincerity will facilitate genuine conversation and unity.
We all long for relationship and purpose (Matt. 22:36-39; Matt. 28:18-20; John 15). As we strive toward these goals, may we listen, learn, and love those who are different. The invitation of God’s love and service in His Kingdom is not exclusive. We can all be clothed with Christ and find our most significant identity in Him (Gal. 3:26-27).
Today, I invite you to ask a single or single-again woman how you can pray for her. It is a first step toward listening, learning, and loving.
